i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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