my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
