Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
