I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
