Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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