While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
