good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
