Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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