ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
