two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
