Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
