Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
