Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
