Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
