We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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