my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
