Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
