Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
