peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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