The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
