I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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