It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it glows. i had to have it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
