He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
