Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
