its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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