i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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