Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
