So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
