i will never coherently bang her
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
