I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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