hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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