I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
