I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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