Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
