maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
