you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
