Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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