I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think your dad took our porno
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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