Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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