you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
