Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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