good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
