In the future we'll all be gay
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
