all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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