I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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