Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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