Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
