Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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