I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
