so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
