I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
