apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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