nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
