It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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